The Philosopher's Stone

Things Congress Should Be Doing:

I'm going to be oddly topical today. Congress is dealing with two "major" issues at present: a Constitutional amendment to define marriage as between one man and one woman (i.e. outlaw gay marriage federally) and legally ban flag burning. While I realize that these are the top concerns of 3% of the population (according to a survey cited on the Al Franken radio show - take it for what it's worth), I have a few other issues which might be more relevant:

• Tax glamour- (Paris Hilton) and power-mad (that Kennedy rapist cousin) millionaire heirs and heiresses, so that I'm not still paying for the damn Iraq War when I'm 90 years old.
• Catch Osama Bin Laden - seriously, people, he's a 6 foot tall man on dialysis who gets more airtime than Anna Nicole Smith, how hard can this be?
• Tell the Pentagon to put the Geneva Convention rules back in the Military Field Manual - if you hadn't heard of this one, it's true: the new version of the Military Field Manual will not include the Geneva Convention provisions against mistreating and humiliating detained prisoners.
• Actually debate the FAIR Tax, and see what happens. I'm extremely undecided on it, but it's an actual issue which has a bearing on everyone's daily life, which would be a nice change of pace for Congress to deal with.
• Look into the President's rampant use of the "signing statement" - these are (figuratively) little executive post-its that he can stick on bills saying that he interprets them a certain way. He has used them on roughly 10% of the bills he's signed into law, which is more than all previous American Presidents put together, something which is now coming to the attention of the American Bar Association.
• Deal with steroid use in baseball - I'm guessing more Americans care about this than gay marriage or flag burning put together.
• Didn't someone important in the government say something about going to Mars at some point? Maybe you guys should look into that.
• Four words: Leave no child behind
• Cure something! I don't care if it's cancer, HIV, or halitosis, but this would be a better use of your time.
• Annex Mexico and be done with it! Then we can burn their flags, to get it out of our system.